What is a Safety Plan, and Why LGBTQ+ Victims of Abusive Relationships Need It
- vincentopoix
- Mar 11
- 2 min read
A safety plan is a personalized roadmap, a lifeline designed to empower you to navigate the complexities of an abusive relationship. It's a proactive strategy, a set of actions tailored to your unique circumstances, to minimize harm, prepare for departure, and rebuild your life. For LGBTQ+ individuals, who often face unique forms of abuse and societal barriers, a safety plan is not just helpful—it's essential.
Abuse, in any form, is about power and control. A safety plan helps you reclaim that power, anticipating potential dangers and creating a framework for your safety. It's about recognizing that you are the expert on your situation and adapting the plan to your specific needs. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides an invaluable interactive tool to create a personalized safety plan, a resource we strongly encourage you to utilize: https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/
The Emergency Checklist: When You Must Leave Now
In moments of immediate danger, having a pre-packed emergency kit can be life-saving. This checklist should include essentials: a change of clothes, vital medications, your cell phone and charger, keys, cash, and any necessary baby supplies. For LGBTQ+ individuals, this might also include documentation related to your identity, like updated IDs or legal documents. If you have a restraining order or child-related documents, ensure those are readily accessible. This kit should be hidden in a safe, easily accessible location.
Building Your External Support Network: Work, Friends, and Chosen Family
Your safety plan should extend beyond your immediate surroundings. Consider your resources outside your home. Who at work can you trust? Are there safe spaces on campus? Who in your chosen family or friend circle can provide emergency shelter or transportation? Create a workplace safety plan, considering your and your children’s safety. An emergency contact card with essential information, kept in your wallet or another secure place, can be invaluable. For LGBTQ+ individuals, this might involve identifying allies within your community or support groups that understand the unique challenges you face.
Protecting Your Children: A Priority in Your Safety Plan
If you have children, their safety is paramount. Create a safe space for them to go in case of danger, whether it's a designated room, a trusted neighbor's house, or a police station. Establish a code word to signal danger, ensuring they understand when to leave. Teach them how to call emergency services. If your children are also LGBTQ+, ensure they understand that they are loved and accepted, and that the abuse is not their fault.
Anticipating Emotional Abuse: Protecting Your Identity
Emotional abuse can be particularly insidious for LGBTQ+ individuals. Your safety plan must address potential risks, such as outing or revenge porn. Does your partner threaten to reveal your gender identity, HIV status, or other sensitive information? Identify safe spaces and trusted individuals where you can seek support if this occurs. Document any threats or instances of emotional abuse, including digital evidence. For LGBTQ+ people, this can include threats related to being outed, or threats to share information about your sexual practices.
Your safety plan is a dynamic document, evolving as your situation changes. It’s a testament to your strength and resilience, a tool to help you reclaim your life. Remember, you are not alone, and help is available.
